Sunday, January 4, 2015

Florida: The Twilight Zone State

The truly strange stories in 2014 seemed to originate in Florida and the state ended the year true to form when Daytona Beach police rescued a couple from an unlocked closet.
Amber Campbell
According to this story from USA Today; Amber Campbell, 25, and John Arwood, 31, spent two days in a janitor's closet at the Marine and Environmental Science Center before calling 911 for help on December thirtieth.  Police arrived and rescued the couple from the unlocked closet.  A police officer tested to see if the closet could be locked and found that it couldn't.

No reason was given as to why the couple had waited two days before calling for help.  Let me take a stab at this.  Amber and John have destroyed all their brain cells and now they are idiots.  On a personal note, if I had opened that closet and Amber Campbell popped out I would've expected to see Uncle Fester next.

New Year's Eve can be celebrated in as many ways as anyone might be able to imagine.  Christian Gomez, 23, of Tampa went just a bit too far when he chopped his mom's head off with an ax.
Gomez, according to USA Today, may have been jealous of the attention mom gave his older brother and killed her after she asked him to move some boxes.  I'm thinking, too many drugs.

Hey folks that's just this past week.  Throughout the year Florida's been the state that just kept on giving.  It was early September when fifty year-old, Karen Dilworth, was arrested in Ormond Beach for having more fun on the Harley than the law allows.
Dilworth?  Really?  According to the article at Huffpo Karen was atop a motorcycle in her garage, with the door open, getting her Dilworth.  Okay, you should've known that was coming.  Witnesses, which apparently included a thirteen year-old boy, said the Michigan native was leaning back with her legs spread wide apart.  Yeehaw!
Then back in Aprila woman in nothing but a thong, went on a rampage at a St. Pete McDonalds.  I remember reading an account at the time that this woman had offered to fellate a young man at the store and he turned her down.  Whatever the case, there could never be a rational explanation for what any of these people supposedly did.

So the next time you're walking down the street in Florida and you see someone who looks crazy, trust your instincts.  They are absolutely stone cold crazy.

I Almost forgot, there were at least two instances of public sex at The Villages, a development for active seniors!

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